themasterslover: saving-things-hunting-people: angelsofthelord: sometimes i wish i was european but then i remember i’m american and i’m free so is the alcohol in europe ALCOHOL IS FREE
oomshi: when my fridge is empty so is my heart
juicy-bliss: sticks and stones may break your bones but my dick would absolutely destroy you
I exist in two places, here and where you are.– Margaret Atwood, Selected Poems (via lacrisalideinversa)
uppity-cis-boy: feathers-theangel: musicbeatstherapy: jelee-: rockpapertheodore: tinyspacebabe: ok let’s stop using the term “butthurt” we’re not 12 anymore you sound fannytroubled a little bootybothered if you ask me someone’s having a little tushytantrum a bit asswounded Dude, you sound pretty buttmad.
maliciousmelons: “911 whats your emergency?” hi i need to report a kidnapping. my son is taking a nap in his room right now.
meladoodle: *gives gf $1* go on babe, treat yourself
royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
alrights: alrights: alrights: help im broke i spent all my money on coffee jk i have 5 more dollars just enough for another coffee help im broke i spent all my money on coffee
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
kiseiishi: current mood: really gay
cokeflow: mirandasexnoise: greg0ry: nicki minaj is 30 how she was born 30 years ago
It feels good to think about you when I’m warm in bed. I feel as if you’re...– Haruki Murakami (via hellanne)
planeswalkingonsunshine: If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think
momunofu: when video games tell you to stop playing after a while or tell you to go to bed when you play late at night
chompyface: if i say something that weirds you out pretend it was a joke
foodtrucker: people younger than me doing cooler things with their life really annoy me
friend: how far have you gone with a boy
me: in miles or kilometers
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
How to write an essay:
Step 1: Open Microsoft Word
Step 2: Cry
Step 3: Open Tumblr
ammitt: where do i get “white dad on a jog” length shorts at?